หน้าแรก > diary, Inspiration, Wien Diary > Fear? Let’s dance!

Fear? Let’s dance!

After a short walk from Rathaus, me and my friend took the underground back to my place.  It was the second night of his visit.  I turned the key and walk into my room, suddenly my heart sunk.  I felt such a strong sense of fearfulness.  I could not say where it came from.  I could not pin point the source that arouse such fearful feeling but I knew it was there.  I felt it.

I sat down and chant for a while, then continued longer.  Sometime later, I began to saw it clearer.  It was something within me that react to change, or rather the thought of possible changes.  Changes that I don’t like, changes that I can’t control, changes that are ‘nasty’.  The feeling really took a grip onto me.  Hard.

Small droplets of water began to fall on my head.  and then more.  I reached for the shampoo bottle that sat right under the shower head.  As I washed myself, I continued to think about the fearfulness that still clouding over me.  A while later, I thought of a conversation I had with an old friend who know me well.   A deep sound of him suddenly rang in my ears “When you can look at the bad things in life squarely and frankly, not covering up nor reducing its malice perhaps one could then, grows as a person”

After the shower, I sat down and thought about the children who dances to the music at Rathaus that I filmed earlier this evening.  It was so joyful to watch them danced and enjoying themselves as they were*.  The danced like nobody was watching, they didn’t care.  It was them the floor, the air and the music.  There were no past to reflex on, no future to thought of.  They truly live their moment.

The dark cloud slowly broke off and let go of me.  It was wonderful and I am glad to share it with you.

*I suspected that one of the girl in this film had Down syndrome.

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