Had my first jam with a friend yesterday. Me on Clarinet and him on Piano. Musically it was disastrous. At least from my point of view. Perhaps my expectation was too high. We didn’t know what key to play on, I have never play with a Piano, he never play with a clarinet. Our tastes of music were also much difference. His were Chopin and Bethoven. ”Misty, My favorite thing, Blue moon,you know.. the jazz number..” “No…I don’t know them”
“Ah… ” Loss for words but it could be interesting beginning of a journey.
Packed away the clarinet, we sat and talked…
“Do you want to hear a song I wrote for a girl? She cried and cried for a week after I showed her. “
“Sure” I replied.
It was a good song. Simple chord sequence on the guitar but good. He asked me if I had ever written a song.
I had. It was sometime ago. I couldn’t remember the chords or the songs now though. It seems to fade away in memory like my feelings. I wrote many songs actually and they are not all about girls and lost loves (although mostly).
A good friend told me, his opinion of me once: I always say what I think, not necessary what I feel. Not sure I truly agree with him but I find that writing song is a way of letting my feeling out. Hopeless, pain, doubt, hope. I can hide behind the guitar and let it sings out for me. Strangely though, looking back most of my song always have a hint of hope no matter how dark I felt. Perhaps it’s the influence of my Buddhism practise.
I can’t find the files today, but when I find them. I’ll put them here some days.
Rewind,
Life flows like a river. It keeps going in its own rhythm and pace, depending on the season; time. Sometime it flow slowly caressing the stones or whatever on its path compassionately, feeding the plants, look after the fishes that in it, and sometime it’s fast. Rushing, ignoring, taking lives, and demolishing whatever in its way.
I always treasure my lazy day. It allows me to put a break on and slow my life down a little. I feel this rare void has in itself a value. I guess space also has meaning. My favorite way of spending a lazy day is in bed, to lie down wide awake. Contemplate, reflect and ponder, taking a deep breath and observe the past. Looking at the turns I have made, all the things that took me to where I am now in complete picture.
Fulfilling moment – there are some. Mistakes? – Uncountable. Isn’t it funny how we all remember well the mistakes that we done. All the faults. But rarely do we remember to applaud ourselves. Maybe we are being humble, maybe we are just being blameful creatures.
Buddhism teaches gratitude toward life, because life is the most precious thing. We should appreciate everything in our life. This is a hard call. I could honestly list a 2 sided A4 (and more) full with all the things that I wish I could change. Sterophonics’ song Rewind goes like “if you could rewind your time, would you change your life” but for all of us this wish remains unfulfilled.
Reality is hash but at least it’s real. Also there is very little point in going back in time to perfect your life. No one can relate to you otherwise. Imperfection is natural but still we all strive to be that perfects creatures that we can never be. But neither should we all slump in our comfort zone and not strive forward. Appreciate imperfection and gaps because they create beauty. Would De Venus van Milo the statue be as famous today if she has both her arms?
Rewind
It's your time
It's your day
It's never too late
To change lanes
How's your life?
How's your place?
Was it where you wanted
Your head to lay?
But wait, you can breathe
You can see what I can see
Don't waste your time
You can't make back
If you could rewind your time
Would you change your life?
Do you like you?
Do you love your wife?
Or did you pick what
You're told was right?
Dream and be
What you feel
Don't you compromise
What you wanna be
'Cause change is okay
What's the point in staying the same
Regrets, forget what's dead and gone
If you could rewind your time
Would you change your life?
If Jesus rode in on a camel today
With your cross on his shoulder
Time to take you away
Have you done all you wanted?
Are you happy and warm?
Do you miss someone special
You don't see anymore?
Have you blood on your hands?
Do you dream of white sands?
Can you sleep well at night?
Have you done all you can?
The place I was born in
Stays crooked and straight
I see innocent blue eyes
Go blind everyday
Rewind your time
Would you change your life?
Today…..